My brain wants something visually and intellectually stimulating.

I requested some information from Mansfield regarding their [online] Art History degree. There's no way I can do the on campus school thing anymore because the real world beckons and it requires me to grow up and take on more responsibilities. This is why I think the internet is so freaking wonderful. Theoretically speaking, I should be able to transfer 67 of my 100-something credits to Mansfield. I would need to take 30 credits of Art History classes (so, about 10 classes). Sadly, one class with tuition and fees will cost over $700. I'd also need to take a few more gen. ed. classes/minor classes to bring me up to the 120 credits required to get a bachelor's from the university.

I'm thinking about applying though and starting with one class. I don't know what the workload would be like and I don't want to overburden myself. Really, I'm not in a huge rush to get this done, although I would probably be able to get financial aid a bit easier if I were taking more than one class. I'm sure they're not going to give me money for 3 credits.

Being a woman doesn't seem to get me very far in the applications for grants and all.

Anyway, it's probably an endless quest for me. I don't like feeling stagnant or like I don't have any goals to meet. I don't like feeling like my brain isn't absorbing new and stimulating conversation and information. There's also the fact that I miss analyzing and writing about pieces of art. The history, the philosophy of the artist, how their lives/faith/culture affected their art... or even how their art affected their culture. It's all so interesting! I miss writing papers! That almost sounds like crazy talk.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. (Mother Theresa)

I want something bigger than myself.
I also want Conor Oberst's latest CD.

Hello Christmas forces.

I decorated the tree with Allison today.
That was cool.

The Cowboys must be screwing up... everyone is cheering in my living room.
Yep... They're probably gonna lose this one to the Steelers.
This is probably why I don't watch football with the family. They're kind of annoying. (By kind of I mean REALLY. I cannot hear myself think and they are in an entirely different room.)

Anyway... Finals are tweaking me out. I hope to be done with all but one exam and my painting final by tomorrow night.

This means I have to take two finals tomorrow after I get off of work.
Squee?

It's almost done. That's the good news.

I'm itchy.
It's only 7:30.

It's soon over.

Here.

There are a few people in life that I miss.
Lately, I miss them all a lot.

But on with my post...

The semester is almost over.
I have survived a 15 credit course load while working part-time.
I have to admit though, I do not feel that I learned much.
I've kind of BS'ed my way through the classes sometimes. (Most times.)
The fact that I could do so with such "ease" makes me feel that I must be intelligent, but the fact that I BS'ed so much has made me feel a bit terrible about myself.

You see, I take learning very seriously. I like coming out smarter than when I went in. Or at least more informed. Sadly, I don't feel that way about 5/5ths of my classes. I just didn't have the time or energy to devote my attention fully to any of them. I guess it was just too much.

I'm one of those people who like to fully submerse myself in a subject when I'm learning about it. I'm very one tracked with the strange ability to multi-task. It's a strange combination.

Anyway, I am taking an indefinite break from classes (and I will never go to school full-time again in my life).

In this time off, I would like to:
- read the stacks of books that I own but have not read.
- work on painting how *I* want to paint.
- take more photographs.
- sleep.
- learn everything I can about art history (particularly modern art) and share some of that knowledge with you (my very few readers).

Ah, December 12th is the day of liberation.

I wasn't thinking about work or babysitting.

As I drove home last night, I'm pretty sure my heart was beating a mantra.
"I want to go back. I want to go back."
I said, "I know you do."
And I turned up the radio to drown it out.

-----------------------------------------

WebCT's server is down... of course.
I wanted to take an exam this morning.

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I think I'm going to take football pictures tonight.
I'm not sure where though.

Yesterday.

As I paid my speeding ticket, all I could think of was... I need a cigarette.

Mind you, I'm not a smoker.
I've smoked a few in my life only during very stressful times.
(My self-destructive period, if you will.)

For some reason, yesterday, the urge was very strong.
(But, no, I did not stop and buy some.)

I drank a beer yesterday two hours after taking Tylenol.
I was afraid I did irreversible damage to my liver.
But my liver doesn't hurt, so I think I'm ok.

Someone want to throw a conflict at me for my NaNoWriMo?
I was going to base it on my own life until I realized my life is very boring.

I have to shower now and start highlighting Myer-Briggs information.

Oh, btw... Life doesn't actually suck right now.

I do apologize for all the negativity in my posts lately. I'm actually not miserable.
I'm actually further from misery than I have been in quite some time.

The good points:

Work:
I complain about it here and there, but I do love my job right now.
It's so much better than my summer job had been.
Thank you GOD! I'm not in a cubicle.

I just hope to never be robbed, ok.

The ladies I work with are fantastic. The office manager dude is awesome. Down to earth, awkward and funny. I love the people I work with. It's fantastic, what more can you ask for... other than a raise?

So, work is good. This is part of the reason I actually feel ok about life.
Can I just mention again that I am so happy I did NOT take the graphic design internship back in May? Sometimes you just have to trust your gut.

Anyway... Tomorrow, we open our office. We're thinking it might be a slow day, since everyone has seen people working on the outside of the building all last week. No one thinks we could possibly ACTUALLY open tomorrow. (But we are because we rock.)

I'm the only single gal in the office too. So all the ladies want to help me out in finding a man, haha.

School:
Well, this is not so much of a bright spot, but I am surviving, thus far.
It is a source of my insanity and oil paint is not my thing. In fact, I suck. I'm not sure that I'll ever not suck.
However, I do like watercolor, so -- yay.

Too bad I'm kind of stuck using oil, for the most stuff.

J:
Yeah, I know. It's weird. He has been fantastic. (I'm over using that word.)
Sometimes it's worth being awesomely patient and getting to know someone.

He's made me laugh so many times in the past month. We've had political arguments (we are on opposite ends of the McCain/Obama spectrum and he think Palin is "hot" *shudder*) and dumb discussions about sex. We've also addressed religion, spirituality, art and current events. We went hiking and had fun.

Basically, we are kind of awesome right now. I'm enjoying it, I think he is too.
I hope his is too.

So, all in all -- Life is good.

Sorry I've been so negative sounding lately. I've honestly been relatively happy. I've been using my posts as a way to vent my stress and I've ignored the happy parts of my life and there have been many. <3

My first day.

It kind of felt like the first day of school.
I didn't do much of anything. I observed.

Tomorrow I have to actually start DOING things.
So I'm even more nervous now.

I hope my drawer balances at the end of the day.
I hope I can remember how to do things.
I hope people like me. :-P


Now, I am watching Ghosthunters.
I love that show.
I have to wake up early again today.
I have to be at work by 8:30. Showered and looking purdy.

Oh, and after work, I will go directly to a Health exam.
And I have to read half a chapter for Environmental Science and half a chapter for Psychology.
Then I have to do discussion boards.

I should have put more paint on my oil painting... I hope I can at least get a C in that class.

I think I've caught up on life now.
I want to see that new Dane Cook movie.

What are you going to do, bleed on me?

When things seem to be going very well, I am constantly expecting something to go horribly wrong.
Luckily, this means I am not worried about school, because none of my classes are awesome. They all kind of suck royally. Well, except for Psychology of Adjustment, that one seems to be going ok.

Today, when I return from my Health quiz, I must set up a still-life to paint. *gag* Then I'll go watch Megan's babies for half an hour and eat cake. Cake is what will keep me going tomorrow. I'm going to try to eat better today though. Yesterday, I ate my body weight in crackers and caramel popcorn. And string cheese. God, I love string cheese.

I get to take super fun pictures again soon. Oh my god, I'm so excited.

Something old.

So, I'm back to school... again.

I've touched on this in my introduction.

Now, I get to navigate the world of job searching... which is limited a little by my inability to work Friday mornings now due to class.

I also do not want to take on too much of a work load, since I'll be taking 5 classes total. At least one is very reading intensive. I know my Painting class will be time consuming. So, I will need time for that.

So... what to do, what to do.
I'd like to get some sort of experience in a classroom, since I have none... but I don't know where to start there.

I know I dislike office work, but I can continue it if the pay is decent. I'm going to mention that possibility tomorrow, while I'm helping Mrs. Boss Lady organize her office. If she is interested, that might be the path of least resistance. And if they don't dock my pay, it will be about twice as nice as my previous student working experience.

Sheetz (yes, a gas station) was recommended to me by a friend for the simple reason that they offer tuition reimbursement. This is something that would be really nice when it comes to paying for the next 2 or 3 years of school. At $9.25/hr, it pays better than any student worker jobs I am aware of and if I start this semester I should be able to get the tuition perk by next semester.

If I stick with my office job, I do not get the tuition perk. If I go back to student working, I will not have the tuition perk or decent pay (but a very flexible schedule). Unfortunately, Sheetz seems to offer flexible scheduling and that tuition perk. I never thought I'd consider working at a gas station.

Oh, this girl's head is spinning. I need to figure something out that will work.

It is going to storm now. It is windy. It's wonderful.