Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The big little bit.

I don't know what to say.
Ever.

I don't know if it's because I hold my thoughts inside.
Or if it's just because my life is dull.

Maybe it's a bit of both.

Sharing my thoughts is too scary though sometimes.
And other times I feel like you should already know.

Maybe you do.

There's really not much I keep inside.
It's just a big little bit.
And I try to avoid it.

The Universe makes it hard.
Everything reminds me of you. [Isn't that a lousy cliche.]
It's always the same thing that bubbles inside me.
A crazy mix of love, lust, passion, fear, loss, mourning and hope.
It makes my heart twist.

It's why I hope for love.
It's why I fear I understand the "Better to have loved and lost..." quote.
It's why I feel hopeless sometimes... because I cannot, no matter how hard I try, keep my feet firmly in the reality of what is.

I don't want to.
I want it all.
But I want it all with you, most days. [I lie. Everyday. I want it everyday.]

I suppose this is a case where what you want and what you need are different.
But they feel the same.

2 comments:

My said...

It's a cliché for a reason that one lol. xx

c.e.z. said...

It's a really annoying cliche! lol.