I can count the people I find easy to love on one hand.

There are few people I can love in an unconditional manner, in a "no matter what they are or who they do" sort of way.

A sure sign that you're on that list?

1- A comment about my overabundance of mucus makes me smile. Haha.
Oh, Eric. I love and miss you. Haha.

2 - I turn Gilmore Girls on for you before you step in the door.
Allison, I lucked out when sisterhood was thrust upon me. :)

3 - When you have a bad day and I have a bad day, we walk around town aimlessly each immersed in our own complaints and listening to the others.
Megan. Oh dear, as special as you are... you rock.

Of course, I love my parents unconditionally too.
In fact, anyone that I love, I love unconditionally... but most don't make it easy.

I'm just sayin'.
I like that these people make it easy. ;)

From elsewhere: Regarding my disappointment in the CA courts.

You see... this really is about equality for all human beings.

Not too long ago, a white man couldn't marry a non-white woman (or vice-versa).
The judicial system had to step in and take a stand... they should have done the same today.

In my mind, there is no difference between civil rights based on race and civil rights based on sexual orientation.
To deny a person [consenting adult] the right to marry the one they love [another consenting adult] is unfair.

Legally speaking, there are no reasons for marriage to be defined as anything other than an agreement between two consenting adults.

Married couples have a "next-of-kin" status in the hospitals. They can file taxes jointly. They can receive Social Security payments when one spouse dies. They have bereavement time if their spouse dies. Same sex couples cannot have these same rights.

You can state a personal belief against it based on your faith, but [and this is something that makes America great and interesting] not everyone in this country shares your faith, that's why there's a separation of church affairs and state affairs.

Emotionally speaking, I am a believer in love.
And if you're lucky enough to be able to find a love, a companionship, that fulfills you and makes you stronger and happier... you should be able to live that love regardless of your sexuality.

If marrying makes a couple feel more complete and more secure... who would I be to deny that to them?



Now, some additional thoughts from comments left "elsewhere":

I'm glad it was mentioned that marriage is a religious ceremony. I have a great idea, why not make all marriages legally equivalent to civil unions? That way it's not a one stop shop for a variety of rights.

As is stands now, when two people are legally married (because it's become a legal institution, not strictly a religious one) they will automatically inherit anything a spouse leaves behind upon death (unless there is a will that specifically states what goes where). Civil unions do not supply that.

... If a spouse gets laid up in the hospital and cannot make medical decisions for themselves, their spouse gets that right automatically. Civil unions also do not afford that same right.

... Sharing health insurance is not guaranteed to a couple bound by civil union.

... Social security payments for deceased spouses go to the living spouse, as a way to help provide for the one left behind. That's not so with civil unions. Etc.

Justice is, by definition, just. Fair, balanced and blind. Allowing a committed gay couple the same rights as a committed straight couple does not step on anyone's legal toes. What, in the daily life of a straight couple, would change if a gay couples marries? Nothing. Nothing at all. There are no biological reasons that homosexuals should not marry (because people will argue that marriage is regulated for good reasons... because you cannot marry a cousin).

And I do believe that the gay community HAS been fighting for some time for equality. Their fight is finally gaining a bit of ground, but their fight is not new. It's not happening overnight. What is so heartbreaking is that they finally had a victory in California and it was taken away from them by the "will of the people." Not because it was dangerous or unfair or anything like that. It was taken away because people feel (in their personal and usually religious views) that homosexuality is wrong... because a majority of people feel weird that two people of the same gender kiss and have sex and live a slightly different lifestyle. (I mean, who does the "woman work" and who does the "man jobs" in a homosexual household, right?)

So I'm allowed to be disappointed in the courts. They didn't defend the people that can't shout as loudly, they didn't stand up for their rights.



Also, I liked Kzinti's (humorous, but brilliant) idea:

"Marriage ought to be very straight forward, cut and dried. Like driver's licenses. If you had to stand in line like at the DMV, there'd be less divorce and if you had to renew your license every so many years, that would remove all these divorce cases from court. Don't like the situation? Let the license lapse. Everything is split as agreed to when you signed the license, like a prenuptial agreement.

Everything is decided fairly up front, including who gets the kids, what child support will be, if any, etc. Sign on the dotted line please..."

P365: "Sun Rainbow"

Today was a good day... just because.

I had lunch with Allison and Justin. I bought a gift that needed to be bought. I got sunburned (my left arm FAR more than my right).

A good day off.

Now... Sunday is going to be the day I get shit done. I need to purge my belongings. I have too much stuff laying around.

P365: "Three"

Three
Originally uploaded by christina85

One of my favorites so far.
Simplicity makes me smile.

And now for the boring stuff called "life," an update of sorts.

I'm working full-time. I know, right?
I guess I'm [finally] becoming a grown-up or something like it.
Weird.

Anyway, my new goal is (1) getting my own place ASAP (because it's about time!) and (2) paying down my not-so-big-but-too-big-for-me debt.

A list of things I will need for when I get out of this place and into my own?
- A bigger bed (and therefore, bedsheets)
- A couch.
- A fabulously beat up coffee table.
- Fabulously beat up bookshelves. (These things need to be beat up so I can have my way with them, creatively.)
- Internet.
- Frames and photos. (Because I'm going to need color in my life.)
- A mirror.
- Silverware, glasses and plates. (Bowls too, I suppose.)

In other words, I should probably still plan on selling my soul to the highest bidder because all of that costs money that I don't have yet. Haha.

From elsewhere: A list.

Someone [elsewhere] had mentioned that a friend who kept dating losers made a list of things she wants in a mate.

Here's my list.

1 - Honesty (You see, this covers a lot of bases. Lying, cheating, stealing. All those things are a lack of honesty. I need an honest man, preferably to a fault. I'd rather get pissed off and get over it than have some lie to me... ever.)

2 - Loyalty (Goes along with honesty. However, you can be honest and still be an asshole. I don't want someone who's going to break up with me instantly because they want to bang their coworker. I need a normal level of "Oh, no... I have a girlfriend and she's cool. I should try to get over this infatuation" kind of thinking.)

3 - Confidence

4 - Humility (#3 and 4 go together in my mind. I want a man who is confident, but not cocky. Just as I am not perfect, he will not be perfect either. If something about my behavior bothers him, I would want him to bring it to my attention. A certain level of criticism is expected because you want your other half to be the best they can be. So, I need him to be confident in his own skin, but also open to suggestions when problems arise.)

5 - Backbone (I need someone who can stand up for himself and for me, if the situation arises. I have a tendency to give in a lot and I want someone to counterbalance that.)

6 - Empathy (I need someone who can remove himself from a difficult situation and see it from the other person's shoes. I am very empathetic and can often see why people do some of the things they do.)

7 - Respect (No explanation is necessary here. Respect my thoughts and beliefs.)

8 - Adoration (Because if you don't adore the person, why are you even there?)

9 - BE AVAILABLE. (I'm not strictly talking marital/dating status. A lot of the men I've met are not available. They pretend to want a relationship, but they really don't. They might talk one minute of love and the next minute they're talking about how they want to sleep with more women before the settle down. Or they simply want a fuck buddy (or buddies). Or they're [still] getting over an ex. Or they don't know where they're going. Or they refuse to say the L-word first or actually fall in love. Or they fall in love with any vagina-wearing creature. Or they think men aren't supposed to have emotions. Etc.)

10 - Passion (I need a man who is as passionate about loving me as I am about loving him. I tend to be a very passionate person sometimes. I would rather have a shouting match and settle things, rather than let things get stagnant and slowly poison a relationship. Passion is a part of that. I don't want to "settle down." I want to constantly be doing new things together. I want a physical connection as well as an emotional and intellectual one. I want to be angry sometimes. I want to be blissful at others. When two people come together, it shouldn't be bland, you should be excited to be together... even if it's just to wash the dishes or cuddle in front of a TV screen.)

So, none of my wants/needs are dumb, outlandish or silly.
All are very reasonable.

One of the things I don't like people pointing out is my supposed naivete. 'Cause I'm not naive.
I started dating late because I was pickier before. That doesn't mean I didn't develop meaningful relationships with men. I know what I want and most did not have half the qualities I've listed here. Most were assholes. Pretentious ones. The ones that weren't? I was friends with them. They usually didn't see me in a romantic light because I was one of them.

Even though I wasn't dating, I was still observing and making decisions for future reference. My standards were too high then, I know this now. Like I said, I'm not naive. I know no one is perfect and I have loved some VERY imperfect people in my time. I loved them all very fully because when I love, I never half-ass it.

So, anyone think this list is too high? Too naive? Like I'm shooting for something unattainable?
'Cause I challenge you to a duel.

I do not build up expectations of perfection.
I hate perfection.
It's so ugly and boring.

I am secretly very disappointed that I could not talk to you.

Because you are here.
You seemed to be a good one.
A settled one. One who could love.

Rooted. Grounded. Practical.
Did I mention you're here.

Your smile could melt the largest glacier immediately... but it froze my mouth and mind.
I was thrilled when I could control my shaking. Heh.
Even more thrilled when I managed to smile back.

I'm probably your type, you know.
You seem to be the kind that stays in some weekends just to chill out.
Or you probably busy yourself with constructive hobbies and pastimes.

No partying. No hooking up with random girls. (At least I don't think.)

Wholesome. That's how someone else described you.
I thought so too.

I would have liked wholesome for a change.

[untitled]

I've been waiting to breathe, but won't allow myself too.
Contradictions. Stubborness. It's all so damaging.

(Or maybe protective. I can't quite figure it out.)

Either way, today's sucky horoscope might have been accurate. Oh well.

I've been trying this whole "one photo a day" thing.

Green Three
Originally uploaded by christina85

This is one of my results.

My P365 (short for Project 365, of course) can be seen here (link) if you're ever bored enough.

Vimeo video.

Auto Tuning:
http://vimeo.com/3718294

On a less awesome/funny note:
My emotions, according to my horoscope, are supposed to be balanced and level today.
The horoscope lied.

I read some words that made me cry.

When I read things like that, I think of you. Automatically.
I can't stop it because I wanted to whisper in your ear... "It's your turn now. Show me you feel the same."

I was happy when you kissed me... when your hands found the small of my back.
No one else has ever felt so right.
Chills traveled up my back. I was completely yours. You were mine. I felt vulnerable and safe and excited and calm and like I belonged there. That moment was meant to be ours. I'll never forget.

I wanted to wrap myself around you. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to be protected. I never wanted that one moment to stop.

Now, I can be unreasonably mad at you and with a few words, I smile for you.

It will always be that way.
I will smile at you, always, even if it's through tears.